It seems just about everybody is running for the nomination as Republican presidential candidate. So today I announce my candidacy for the Republican nomination for President.
The list of those running include:
With such a cast I felt it time that I too put my toes in the presidential waters.
The Default Manifesto
- On day one of taking office begin immediate carpet bombing of strategic tumblr and upworthy locations.
- Immediate diplomatic recognition for the #GingerRevolution. Immediate presidential twit pardon for Chuck Johnson.
- Appoint ‘Zyclon’ Ben Garrison to settle the Middle-East mess once and for all.
- Israel, our greatest ally, must remain strong. It can only be strong if it embraces diversity. That is why I support open borders for Israel.
- Daily Stormer will become the official news agency of the new republic.
- Bring banned right-wing twitterers out of the shadows. Immediate delay of all further twit-bannings with a pathway to full twitter citizenship for these Tweemers. These people are doing the jobs other Americans will not; we will be made stronger by their presence. Twiversity is our strength.
- Add excitement to boring official messages. When I become president all official communiques will be mandated to include at least one of the following words or phrases: fuck, cuck (full word cuckold permitted), fag, rustle(d) my jimmies, penis, heeb (Le Happy Merchant graphic permitted), or shove it up your ass.
- Holocaust Remembrance Day to be renamed Muh Holocaust Day.
- Martin Luther King Day will be renamed Martin Luther Day and will celebrate the famous Protestant who did not plagiarize the work of others.
- Tax-cuts, war, abortion, and all that shit, as needed to win the nomination.