Well Everyone Else is…

by

It seems just about everybody is running for the nomination as Republican presidential candidate. So today I announce my candidacy for the Republican nomination for President.

At a meeting in my twitquarters, I announce that I am seeking the Republican nomination for president.

At a meeting in my twitquarters, I announce that I am seeking the Republican nomination for president.



The list of those running include:
George Pataki
Pandsey Graham
Jeb Arbusto
Dr.Ben Carson
Carly Fiorina

With such a cast I felt it time that I too put my toes in the presidential waters.

The Default Manifesto

  • On day one of taking office begin immediate carpet bombing of strategic tumblr and upworthy locations.
  • Immediate diplomatic recognition for the #GingerRevolution. Immediate presidential twit pardon for Chuck Johnson.
  • Appoint ‘Zyclon’ Ben Garrison to settle the Middle-East mess once and for all.
  • Israel, our greatest ally, must remain strong. It can only be strong if it embraces diversity. That is why I support open borders for Israel.
  • Daily Stormer will become the official news agency of the new republic.
  • Bring banned right-wing twitterers out of the shadows. Immediate delay of all further twit-bannings with a pathway to full twitter citizenship for these Tweemers. These people are doing the jobs other Americans will not; we will be made stronger by their presence. Twiversity is our strength.
  • Add excitement to boring official messages. When I become president all official communiques will be mandated to include at least one of the following words or phrases: fuck, cuck (full word cuckold permitted), fag, rustle(d) my jimmies, penis, heeb (Le Happy Merchant graphic permitted), or shove it up your ass.
  • Holocaust Remembrance Day to be renamed Muh Holocaust Day.
  • Martin Luther King Day will be renamed Martin Luther Day and will celebrate the famous Protestant who did not plagiarize the work of others.
  • Tax-cuts, war, abortion, and all that shit, as needed to win the nomination.

AIPAC speech

Calling to make Israel (our greatest ally) strong by making Israel diverse.


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