Myers Musings: Myers and Me


I seem to be on a Myers-Briggs kick this week (I hope more enjoyable than the HBD stuff). It has been a while since I posted anything personal.

Today I will mix the two. I will discuss how I see some of the other types.


Actually, admire/hate would be a better description. There is some element of the shadow at work here, as each type in some way represents my weakest point, or my polar opposite.
ENTJ: I have to admire their direct decisive style but hate getting caught up in it (e.g., if they are a boss). They are making decisions while I am still contemplating. I feel forced to either go along without having fully agreed, or argue against without having fully disagreed. A case of strong willed type meets independent type; unstoppable force meets immovable object. Sadly, the immovable object is, in this case, not so immovable; I hate that.
ESTP: I admire their quick acting, wheeler/dealer nature. I admire their ability to act with little pondering. I admire the fact that even when those rash decisions turn out badly, they can quickly dig their way out. They are the type likely to be graceful in movement and smooth in social situations. Again, they reflect all the things I am not.
Notes: It is interesting that I would not necessarily want to be that type, but they are the type that reflect my weaknesses most strongly. They also represent two strong male archetypes: the dominant leader (ENTJ) and the big man (ESTP). The INTP archetype of the thinker/philosopher lacks that alpha swagger.

Types I might like to be

ENTP: Like me, only more so. More so on the better bits: fun loving, social, and charismatic. Less so on the not so good bits: indecisive, contemplative, and asocial. We both share curiosity and can generate new ideas; the ENTP may actually charm people into implementing them.
INTJ If you can’t beat ’em join ’em. . . Joking aside, we share the big picture view of the world, the love of systems, and enjoyment of problem solving. The INTJs that I know seem much better at practical implementation. Personally and professionally, we work well together. I just sometimes feel they are better able to achieve things in the world.
Notes: I would probably choose ENTP, as it seems closer to where I am and might better allow me retain my playful side.

Seductive types I would like to be

ESFP: A healthy balanced ESFP can make a very attractive seducer. He can have all the in the moment reactions of all SP types backed up with warmth and empathy. If the ENTJ would seduce a woman by breaking her will (in an oh so Randian fashion) the ESFP will melt her heart. The effect might be the same but I prefer the second approach.
ENFJ: Warm and charismatic. Closer to my own natural style, but probably an improvement.

Types I just like

NF: NF idealists, what’s not too like? As I have said before, the world may run on SJ, but it would be far worse without NF. I may get on a bit better with NFJ, perhaps because NFP is too close to my own NTP, but I like all the NFs. They may sometimes annoy with their “touchy feely” stuff, but there are far worse ways to be annoyed.

Actually, and this must be my inner NF showing, I like all types, but for different reasons. I have had friends and worked with STJs, had the support of SFJs, enjoyed discussing ideas with NT (hello Roissy/andro/StevoSphere dwellers.), and although sometimes overwhelmed have enjoyed energy and showmanship of SPs.

Female Types I like

Given my introverted style (as apart from M-B letter) I naturally gravitate towards introverted females (or at least those that match my lower social energy). In my younger days, I may have developed (unreciprocated) interest in the showier types, but I am wise to that now. I am surprised by the breadth of my taste here: excluding thinking types, especially TJ, I could probably get along with many types. If I had to order it, it might be NFJ, SFJ, SFP (see my discussion on INTP/ISFP in an earlier post). It is strange but NFP does not work as well as you might think. I suspect it is because INFP is a little too close (no tension) and ENFP is just a little too much.
[NFP also shares a dominant function (Ne), and that is what likely causes the problem; we compete rather than complement.]

Types I identify with (in order)

NT = NF > SJ >> SP
As I said, those sensing/perceiving, in the moment, live action skills are my weakest point. I probably hover at some point between NT rationalism and NF idealism. I do identify with the SP need for independence and freedom from structure. However, I have many more SJ friends than SP friends (maybe none). I suspect the more structured lives and homes of the SJs better matches my own low-key temperament.

One Response to “Myers Musings: Myers and Me”

  1. malenalott Says:

    Just wanted to say I enjoyed reading several of your blog posts today. As an ENTJ female (who is a brand strategist and author), I’m fascinated by personality types and psychology in general. I was married to an ISFJ for 20 years but our differences (and children growing older) ultimately led to our decoupling. Of course I had no idea about M-B when I was in college and married quickly. Now I’m dating an ISTP (going on 2 years) and our types seem to mesh well. I do take my foot off the brakes when necessary – something I likely didn’t do well in my 20s and 30s when I was less evolved. 🙂 I love that my “S” mate is in the moment and also his “P” is flexible versus rigid. Since neither of us are Feelers we don’t hurt each other’s feelings as easily and seem to take criticism well. Anyway, thanks for your thoughtfulness in this space.

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