Myers Musings: How Chicks Annoy


Any reading of game related literature will reveal the numerous ways women will seek to test and annoy their man. I certainly do not seek to deny that. However, as I said before, in Myers-Briggs terms, not all women are the same. Each type may express their perfidy in different ways.

Anything you say. . .

That ability to remember the slightest slight, the smallest misstep, or the vaguest promise, and spit it back months later, is a function of introverted sensing (Si). Introverted sensing is prominent in all xSxJ women. It may be worse in Feeling types, who have greater social expectations and less pragmatism about the give-and-take of such things. Introverted sensing (Si) is the preferred function of ISFJ and ISTJ, and second most preferred for ESFJ and ESTJ.

Testing . . .Testing

We know they all do it, but shit testing is most likely a function of extraverted thinking (Te). Extraverted thinking is prominent in all xxTJ women. It may be worse in xNTJ women. Just imagine the horror of an evening with DC Lawyer Bitch (ENTJ) or being harangued by Ayn Rand (INTJ). The xSTJ types may attempt to directly boss you around (do this, wear that), where xNTJ may attempt tests of your will (arguing anything to the bitter end), in either case easygoing men need to tread with non-care.
Types: ENTJ >= INTJ >> ESTJ > ISTJ

Distracted by bright and shiny things

Likely a function of extraverted sensation (Se). Extraverted sensation is preferred by xSxP women. The allure of BSTs is probably strongest for ESFP and least for the relatively pragmatic ISTP (who may be as happy fiddling with engines, guns, or other guy stuff).
Types: ESFP >> ESTP > ISFP >>> ISTP

Takes everything the wrong way

While this may be just a form of shit-test, it could also be a function of introverted feeling (Fi). Introverted feeling is strongest for xxFP women. The “wrong way” analysis may be strongest for NFP, because the imaginative extraverted intuition (Ne) can create all manner of possibilities that it feeds to introverted feeling. Some NFJ types may also express this, because introverted intuition (Ni) searches for deeper meanings that may not exist. The ESFP’s greater connection with the outer world of sensation may blunt this effect.

Flighty and flakey

This is the other side of the sensitivity described above. The capriciousness is driven by the same volatile introverted feeling (Fi). Flakiness will be more prominent in SFP compared to the less sensation driven NFP. Although NFJs were included above, they may be more prone to follow through on commitments. Other than that, this is a mirror image of the previous list.
Types: ESFP >> ISFP = ENFP >>> INFP

But what would the neighbors think?

Being enthralled by the group is a function of extraverted Feeling. Extraverted feeling is preferred amongst all xxFJ women. Extraverted feeling seeks to establish and honor the needs of the group. It does not necessarily imply weak will; it is merely that their goal is to ensure harmony (where the extraverted thinking of the xxTJ wants to organize for efficiency). The group effect is likely stronger for the more concrete xSFJ types.
Types: ESFJ > ISFJ >> ENFJ >= INFJ

Hey babe, I prefer a nice ass, not a smart ass

She cannot help trying to prove just how much smarter than you she is. Unlike the battle of wills of NTJs, this is a battle of wits. Most likely extraverted intuition (Ne) is doing the work here. Extraverted intuition is favored by xNxP women. The smart-assery will be more prominent in thinking types (xNTP) but may also occur with ENFP and, to a much lesser extent, INFP.
Types: ENTP >> INTP = ENFP >>> INFP


Probably a function of introverted thinking (Ti). Introverted thinking is favored by xxTP, but the tomboy effect probably only appears strongly in the IxTP types.
Types: ISTP > INTP >>>> ESTP > ENTP


As you can see each female type may have expertise in more than one way to inflict misery on the hapless male, and many women will adapt to less favored functions if needed (e.g., flightiness from an INTJ, test of will from an ESFP). What you can be certain of is that they will test you. I hope these brief descriptions helped you assess the challenges that await you in the Myersian jungle.


11 Responses to “Myers Musings: How Chicks Annoy”

  1. Hope Says:

    Sweet. INFJs would appear to be “less” annoying by this list.

    Alas, we require a lot of time talking about “feelings.” That can be a big problem for many men.
    [DU: I noticed that after I had posted. I was thinking of going back and adding something, so INFJs did feature more clearly on the annoyance scale. I would hate anyone to think I was pandering to the female part of my audience (who I would guess swing towards INFJ).

    For the record, let me state that, I am sure INFJ women will find ways to annoy. Perhaps they are just more adaptable in their approach. :/]

  2. PA Says:

    Do you ever find yourself identifying with famous people of your MB type? I am an INFP (note: my score came out exactly split on E and I but if pressed, I’d go “I”) and … John Lennon’s fellow-INFP stuff strongly resonates wiht me. Not the politics, as those who sorta know me can rest assured… but the more personal stuff.

    A lot of his post-Beatles songs have collages of snapshots from his life on Youtube in lieu of videos, and they hit close to hime. Moments with Yoko, playing with Julian, etc.
    [DU: First off, I would never have put you as (x)NFP. Your stories, more than writing style, do not sound very NFey. For example: I believe you spent time in the military; that sounds an unusual choice, and cannot have been easy, for an NFP. I imagine NFPs as gentle non-conformist, as compared to the tough-minded rule-followers that I would expect in the military. Perhaps that shows the limits of typing.

    I may identify a bit more with ENTP than my actual INTP. To me they seem to possess to traits I would like to express more strongly. Where INTP is cerebral and curious, ENTP is charismatic and curious; that seems a better combination.

    I also identify with NF style thinking. The cool logic of the pure NT style is a little too barren for my tastes. Most would associate the NF style with leftist politics, but I do not believe that has to be the case, not is it the case with me. My distaste for multiculturalism comes as much from an NF desire for harmony as any NT desire for efficiency.

    I always liked your comments precisely because they appeared to come from a place of feeling and passion, not just some utilitarian analysis (although I am not opposed to utilitarian considerations.

    PS: I probably split evenly on the T/F divide, but otherwise am clearly of type.

  3. maurice Says:

    How does thou annoy me? Let me count the ways….
    Lacks a certain something…

    Very interesting though. This may be pushing the MB frame beyond what it was intended to sustain, but it’s a fascinating and useful exercise nonetheless.
    [DU: Yes, the list is a bit of stretch. While the descriptions of the functions are probably accurate enough, my application is more humorous than scientific. I imagine there is an element of truth, but it is hardly the whole story. The categories of test that I outlined may exist, but the test may not align quite so well with type (in any case, how many men have MB typed their girl?). Like many of my posts, it is a sprinkle of truth, a dollop of speculation, topped off with light humor.

    That said, I would love to hear from those who might be able to confirm or deny such mapping.]

  4. namae nanka Says:

    [DU: Ha, I knew it.

    I wonder if they checked for the ability to annoy in multiple ways at the same time . . .]

  5. David Foster Says:

    M-B, and other personality typologies such as the Enneagram, are useful even if not precisely correct because they get people to think about how people of other types view the world, as opposed to assuming that everyone else thinks & feels the same way that *they* do. It’s a kind of “diversity” that deserves more attention.
    [DU: While it is easy to read too much into type, and take it too literally, the “how the other half thinks” exercise is useful.]

    One of the girlz here should do a similar analysis of annoying men vis-a-vis the M-B types…
    [DU: I had thought of that, but decided it was more fun to leave it as women annoying men (some cheeky humor). I would love to see the female response, to both my list, and their similar list for men. I can make some guesses: xxTP=indecisive, xNTx=weird, and so on.

    So chickies, it is over to you. Throw aside your NF niceness, and let it rip. Call up that ENTJ in the corporate finance and ask for her ideas. It is time to dish out a Myersian mauling to the men of the world.

    I worry that I may regret this. . . ]

  6. PA Says:

    First off, I would never have put you as (x)NFP.

    Would it be a stretch to type somewhat diverse personalities like Michael Blowhard, Tupac Chopra, Roissy, commenter Gorbachev, and David Alexander all as (x)NFP? I’m crious what you think, as you have a keen sense about this stuff.

    (I’d be tempted to call Gorby a T, but his comments do have that breathless quality that comes form emotion rather than thought.)

    Those guys, like me, all seem to have that idle-dreamer element in their personalities — think Lennon’s “Watching the wheels go by” — regardless of how busy and responsible we may otherwise be in other aspects of our lives.

    Your stories, more than writing style, do not sound very NFey.

    My best (I think) anecdotal stories posted on various blogs, if you think I’m reading “my” audiences correctly, in descending order:

    1) funny or poignant stories of crash-and-burn OR accidental success with girls during my earlier youth, or a youthful love story in general (like when I first had a girl tell me ILU)

    2) an emotional, borderng on mystical, accounting of something related to my present life

    3) a present-day slice-of-life observation or account of a confrontation, usually with a humorous undertone.

    For example: I believe you spent time in the military; that sounds an unusual choice, and cannot have been easy, for an NFP.

    With military, yeah, if you want to make it a career and become an NCO (a sergeant), you probably want to be an ESTJ. But I was in only for three years, recruit through E-4. My MOS (job) also was one that allowed a lot of mobility and independence for a junior-enlited man.

    What I liked as an (x)NFP in the military was the company of other guys; plenty of downtime to do non-job related things or just drink; frequent field training excercises or short-term assignments, often to interesting places.

    But all in all, your observation is sound. For the longer haul, and if I were to be promoted to more responsible ranks, it woudl have been a struggle to be by-the-book sort of a hierarchy-man.

    My distaste for multiculturalism comes as much from an NF desire for harmony as any NT desire for efficiency.

    I’m similar with you on this one. In the case of multiculturalism, that would be “harmony” writ-large: not merely a desire for people not rubbing each other the wrong way, but more of an aesthetic desire for a community (in the broadest sense of the word) that is larger than the sum of its parts.

    If you’ve read of mysticism-inclined nationalists (of whatever nation), that would be similar to my philosophical priorities, if you will. I may be a like John Lennon is some sense of temperament, but where he sang Imagine humanity leveled flat and emptied of all that makes them distinct men, I woudl sing about a vertical sort of connection of man and the divine, wiht different levels of identity (family, community, nation) as meaning and purpose-granting intermediaries in that chain of being.

    Or in other words, Lennon’s “Imagine” was a vision of man absent his humanity; my “Imagine” woudl be about man celebrating his humanity through things that make him particular and distinct, indivuidually and collectively.

    I always liked your comments precisely because they appeared to come from a place of feeling and passion, not just some utilitarian analysis

    [DU: Reply is below]

  7. PA Says:

    First off, I would never have put you as (x)NFP

    What I was initially gonna say but forgot to, was that your surprise is very reasonable: none of my scores went too far into the extreme. All were just somewhat into the NFP direction, with E/I being even.

  8. Default User Says:

    Tupac Chopra: I pegged him as an ENFP because of his poetic expressions towards Alias Clio. He assured me that he was INTJ.
    David Alexander: Possibly INFP. He has that introspective sensitivity matched with non-conformity that I would associate with the type. He could be INTP as beneath our cerebral exterior we can be sensitive too. I would associate railfanning more with ISTP, but of course, nobody perfectly embodies type. He accepted the IN(t/f)P designation.
    Gorbachev: I am less familiar with him. He seems to have had many conquests, and may have a current harem. Both sound more like an extravert (it is a lot of social activity for an introvert). The harem (loving many women at the same time) seems more SFP than NFP. However smart and careful, I would expect an NFP to prefer a deeper connection with one woman than more casual connection with many.

    Like many NTPs my guesses come from nowhere. I do not piece together bits of evidence to draw a conclusion. It is more that I get an impression from writing style and topics. Sadly, I think my accuracy has being mixed, at best.

    In your case you seemed more assertive and alpha then the INFP types I have known. While none of them was effeminate in any way, they would not be the first I would call if a fight were brewing; I needed to win an argument by force of will; I needed volunteers for a sports team, or indeed any rough-and-tumble enterprise. I certainly could not have seen any wanting to join the military or police. It is not really about abilities, they would have been less motivated to care about such things. I would say much the same form INTPs as well.

    What is interesting is that modern military with all its peacekeeping and nation building could probably do with more NF input. If NTJ types can survive the climb up the hierarchy, they probably make excellent higher-level commanders, having that mix of big picture thinking and decisiveness. I would guess that the NTP representation in the military is contained within DARPA and some intelligence functions. At a lower level (e.g., the grunts) I cannot see me, in all my INTPness, liking the military nor the military liking me (not just the hierarchy but the guys I worked with).

    I suppose the real lesson is that there are limits to typing, especially over the Internet. Of course, I will continue to try, because in that respect I do match type (no theory left behind).

  9. Fifth Linkfest Says:

    […] Default User: Myers Musings: How Chicks Annoy […]

  10. Ellie Says:

    The lovely people over at Personality Cafe seem set on typing me as an ENTP, and I’m inclined to agree.

    However, from your list here (which is fantastic, by the way) I think that my soul mate would have to be another ENTP, possibly an ENTJ.

    Very interesting an amusing piece. Thank you.

  11. Danny Waldorf Says:

    This post is hilarious. Enjoy being a single virgin.

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