In the Style of: David Alexander

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A series (perhaps) where I try to write a post in the style of other bloggers. Today is David Alexander (Beta Railfan).

In the Style of: David Alexander (Beta Railfan)

It is not easy been a sub human male. As a beta male with a low IQ, I live in a miserable world. I am neither cool enough to be black nor smart enough to be white.

Recently Athena (the Greek god of cuddles) invited me to head out with her friends. I figured what is the point? There will be either no hot chicks with nails and heels or the hot chicks with nails and heels will have douchbag boyfriends that drive flashy cars. What would they ever see in a low IQ beta male like me? All of Athena’s (the Greek god of cuddles) friends are white, I would stand out like the black low IQ beta male that I am.

Instead of going to the party, I drove my small and cheap car to the railway station. I took pictures of the trains and (when I could get away without being noticed) hot chicks with nails and heels (and no douchbag).

On the way out of the station, an attractive woman stopped to talk about my photography. She did seem interested and was friendly. I told her to get lost because it was obvious she either a gold digger or stupid. She would have to be stupid to find a sub-human beta male like me interesting. Face it, I will never be normal.

I would kill myself but that would only make Dana and OneSTDV happy. I am sure any suicide attempt would fail just like everything else. Instead, I will go home and spend some quality time with my 15-terabyte collection of porn.

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13 Responses to “In the Style of: David Alexander”

  1. Φ Says:

    Do me! Do me!

  2. Default User Says:

    Do me! Do me!

    I really would much rather hear that from one of my female readers >:D

  3. David Alexander Says:

    A little bit on the exaggerated side, but it’s a reasonable attempt at mimicking my writing tone and style while hitting upon all of the issues that haunt me on the Internet.

    BTW, Athena and I don’t cuddle or hug. I may grab her hand once in a while to touch her manicured natural nails, but that’s all. Nor do I take pictures of hot chicks with nails. I’ve also never had an attractive woman ask me about my work. Of course, my response to such a hypothetical situation isn’t too dissimilar from what I’d feel in real life. As for the porn, I removed roughly 100 GB of it recently in order to pare it down to create more room for RAW files for my photography, so I’m far removed from the old peak of 500GB of porn.

  4. Default User Says:

    @David Alexander
    I did aim for good-natured mimicry. I hope you got a smile from it. The idea is not to mock the subject but have fun with their blogging style.

    Certainly, exaggeration is part of that caricature. It would be less fun (and probably more difficult) to create and exact copy.

    Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for replying.

    At some point, I might actually try an In-the-Style-of for myself (i.e., In the Style of: Default User). I am not sure I could do myself justice though.

  5. David Alexander Says:

    I hope you got a smile from it.

    Yes, even sub-human males can enjoy it. 🙂

  6. fromnursetoworse Says:

    no offence but the guy in this story might need counselling no men where I come from would ever look a gift horse in the mouth Carmell McC

  7. Default User Says:

    @fromnursetoworse
    I exaggerated a bit in my homage, but David Alexander certainly is (and would probably admit it) not Le Player. Perhaps your experience with that loveable Irish rogue has biased your perceptions.

  8. anplayer Says:

    Carmel is used to a lot of attention I’m afraid. Nurses tend to get that way after a while. They think everyone’s after them. In reeality flattering their ego is just the price a patient has to pay for a clean bedpan.

    Your myer-briggs thing is interesting, but I don’t think SD is an ENFJ.

  9. Default User Says:

    @anplayer

    but I don’t think SD is an ENFJ.

    Neither do I. What is your guess?

    She did claim ENFJ, but we know women sometimes lie.

  10. OneSTDV Says:

    Just curious why would I be happy if David Alexander offed himself?

    [BTW: Good to see you’ve accepted the low-carb/high-fat diet.]

  11. Default User Says:

    @OneSTDV

    Just curious why would I be happy if David Alexander offed himself?

    I do hope I have not mixed up my bloggers. Didn’t Obsidian accuse you of been a racist and showing racial animosity towards “darkies.”

    I should be clear that I do not believe the accusation and the mention was in jest (in keeping with DA’s themes).

  12. OneSTDV Says:

    OK…that’s what I was thinking so your explanation makes sense.

  13. Linkage is Good for You: Still Playing Catch-Up Edition (NSFW) Says:

    […] User – “Low Carb“, “In the Style of: David Alexander“, “Random Thoughts on: Dogma“, “Just Do […]

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