Is Introversion a Mental Illness?

by

It is popular to pathologize many attitudes and aspects of temperament. I hate to add to that rather creepy trend. However, despite my worries, I sometimes wonder if introversion is form of mental illness. If it is, should we treat it? Is it even curable?

In short, my answers are yes, yes, and maybe.

I see introversion as a spectrum disorder like autism or Asperger’s, it can range from mild to severe. In its mildest form, it may be barely noticeable. Similar to other spectrum disorders it may even bring some advantages (e.g., the ability to work or study quietly and patiently). However, in its stronger forms it becomes more disabling. Where physical illness may be treated when there are no symptoms, or those symptoms offer no impediment to life (e.g., high blood pressure), mental illness tends only to be a concern when the symptoms prevent living life to the full. Using this reasoning I propose that introversion, in anything other than mild form, be treated as a debilitating illness.

A person born with asthma that prevents him fully participating in sport is likely to seek treatment; he is not likely to assume that is just the way he is. For some reason the introvert whose disability prevents him fully participating in social life will not seek treatment and assume that is just the way he is. In both case he is correct, that is just the way he is, but in one case he seeks to fix the problem.

Yes, introversion is a form of mental illness. Yes, the introvert should seek to treat it. I am unsure regarding the last question. Is it treatable? Can it be cured? I am uncertain, but feel that a full cure is unlikely. Perhaps the best that the introvert can achieve is some mild easing of the symptoms. Mostly it is about learning to live with his illness.

Other Questions

Nature or Nurture? I suspect it is a large part of nature (genes) but some nurture (introverted nature leading to the development of introverted habits – e.g., joining the chess club instead of the dance class).

More males or females? I have no idea if introversion is more prevalent in one sex over the other. It is, however, for more damaging for males because males must express confidence and dominance.
[Of course, extremely introverted women also have a tough time but they probably have more latitude to be quiet, reserved, and less outward (they can claim they are not "introvert," merely "demure." :)]

What are the chances of protection under the Americans with Disabilities Act? None. Extraverts make the rules. :/

108 Responses to “Is Introversion a Mental Illness?”

  1. brightstormyday Says:

    oh really? What about those popular girls that are loud and funny and everyone likes them, huh?

    Yeah.

    The only thing I’m good at is being creepy.

    >.>’

    jkjk.

  2. Default User Says:

    @brightstormyday

    oh really? What about those popular girls that are loud and funny and everyone likes them, huh?

    Extraverts (male of female) will tend to more popular than introverts. I did say that life can be tough for introverted woman as well. In any case you are not “creepy,” you are demure. :)

  3. Sonic Charmer Says:

    …mental illness tends only to be a concern when the symptoms prevent living life to the full. Using this reasoning I propose that introversion, in anything other than mild form, be treated as a debilitating illness.

    Circular. What’s the definition of “living life to the full”? Oh, I see – acting like an extravert. Got it.

    For some reason the introvert whose disability prevents him fully participating in social life will not seek treatment and assume that is just the way he is.

    What is “fully”? I suspect most introverts are basically happy with their current level of participation in social life.

    I doubt this is how it was intended, but the argument above works better as a clever, perhaps satirical undermining of the concept of “mental illness” than it does at classifying introversion as one.

  4. David Says:

    I suspect this is a joke.

    I am always told that I am an introvert, so I suppose I must be.

    I am quite happy. I seem to function well.

    But I suspect this is a joke.

  5. David Says:

    I should add that it is perfectly possible for a male introvert to dominate. There is the “strong, silent type”. Noisy people are not necessarily influential, and quiet people can be powerful.

    Vladimir Putin strikes me as an introvert. Not a nice guy though.

  6. David Says:

    Hi, Default User.

    I have been reading a bit more of your blog.

    Don’t worry about being your age and not having achieved as much as you would like. I only found an occupation I really like at about the age of 50. Some people just bloom late.

  7. Default User Says:

    @Sonic Charmer, David
    There is an element of humor to this. I was basing it on the trend towards defining more things as mental illness that requires treatment.

    However, there was also an element of seriousness as well. I think we tend to have a funny attitude to “mental” issues. We seem to accept them yet be ashamed of them.

    We accept mental ailments with a “that is just me” attitude in a way we would not accept physical ailments. We seek to treat the smallest physical discomfort but often neglect mental or emotional discomfort. We can happily discuss the pills and treatments we take for our poorly functioning heart, liver, or eyes but are mortally embarrassed to discuss any treatments for a poorly functioning brain. The same person that would boast how laser surgery gave him 20/10 vision allowing him to partake in sport, would never admit that Prozac stabilized his mood allowing him to partake in life.

    In a world where contacts, networks, and influence are important, I believe there are real disadvantages to being introverted. While deep friendships are important, wide friendships can be vital too. When starting a business, finding a job, or even finding a mate, a large circle of friends will help. Gaining energy (extravert) instead of burning energy (introvert) in social interactions is a definite advantage in a world where who you know is as important as what you know.

    David: While I agree with your notion of the “strong silent type,” a lot of influence and advantage comes indirectly through networks. However, there can be tremendous power in the person whose verbal contributions are fewer but more considered.

    I am, perhaps, strange in that I am deeply introverted but also a restless type. I have, mostly, found happiness in this world. At times, I feel the lack of social energy is a major hindrance and a disappointment. At other times I realize just how such success that I have had is due to my nature. I think people are as happy as they want to be; happy people will tend towards happiness regardless of current circumstance, unhappy people will be unhappy regardless of good fortune thrown their way.

    My posts here are more a reflection of introspection and restlessness than any deep unhappiness (even if does not always seem that way). If I were an extravert this post would probably be questioning if the constant motion of the extravert is a sign of mental illness.

    One other point: When discussing introversion, I was considering the stronger forms. Someone with 20/30 eyesight will probably never need glasses; they will be able to go through life with uncorrected but less than normal vision. Someone with 20/200 vision will have much greater problems if their vision remains uncorrected.

  8. brightstormyday Says:

    @DefaultUser:

    No, I’m creepy.

    Everyone has weird impressions of me when they first meet me.

    Because I’m quiet.

    And then I do things spontaneously.

    And it doesn’t match.

    I like mischief. o.o And sneaking up on people. I do the ghost thing.

  9. Default User Says:

    @brightstormyday

    I like mischief.

    So do I. Mischief is a greatly underrated source of fun.

    Because I’m quiet.

    It is always the quiet ones…

  10. David Says:

    Default User

    Being introverted has never hurt me. I am fairly happy with my place in life. I have a technical job I like; in fact I am a technical manager. I am married to a woman who was pretty cute in her twenties and is still bedworthy enough. I have children.

    No matter what I do, people always tell me I am introverted. Introverts tell me I am introverted! I actually score well into the autistic range on the Autism Quotient test, although I think this is a false positive (for Bayesian reasons).

    In my line of work, staring at data all day and looking for detail, a little introversion helps.

    I am very happy if I have a good book to read, or an interesting new abstract idea. I was happy for a day when I found out what a lognormal distribution was, thinking about various applications, including sociological.

    I actually have a strong theoretical interest in people and society. Steve Sailer is the kind of thinker I like in this regard.

    I know what you mean about social situations being draining. I like a bit of “socialising”, but just a little will do. I get on well with my staff, and am considered a good boss. When you are “herding cats” (scientists), it probably helps to be a cat oneself.

    Yes, I don’t have many friends, but I have my immediate family. My friends are mostly high IQ intellectual types, maybe a bit odd. I don’t find people that rewarding, especially women, which is one reason why – despite being attractive to women – I have never bothered chasing them much. Not having too many friends or too many sex-partners can simplify life nicely.

    I try to be nice to people and am generally polite.

    I don’t honestly think being introverted has been a problem for me. Perhaps not networking much has been a limitation, although I don’t think so. I have reached most of my goals eventually. Perhaps I have been a bit slow to do so though.

  11. Default User Says:

    @David
    Like you my work is technical. It involves a certain amount of studying data and understanding data. A more extraverted person might not have the patience.

    Like you, I enjoy ideas including those related to people and society. I enjoy Steve Sailer and Charles Murray who both manage to cover HBD issues in a humane way without too much dogma. I too can get distracted when I learn new things as I figure out the implications (“what if… ?).
    [If you are interested in Myers-Briggs type analysis I suspect you might be an Introverted iNtuitive of some kind (IN??)]

    While I cannot claim that introversion has “ruined my life,” I do believe it has held me back in some ways:

    As I said, I am technical. Although smart, I am not *smart* (above average, no doubt, but not very smart). Many other introverted, nerdy types can do the work I do. Some of those live in India and China (or can be H-1Bed into the US); they will work for less money). Networking people skills are harder to outsource or H-1B.
    [The H-1B is a temporary US work visa that employers use to source cheap labor without actual outsourcing. The visa is used mostly for computing, technical, or analytical type of employees.]

    I have not taken (or been given) opportunities because they would entail more social activity than I would be (or seen to be) comfortable with.

    My smaller network has definitely cost me when looking for work or other opportunities. In a social network the weak node can connect just as well as the strong one; your acquaintance is just as likely to hear of something as your best friend.

    Like you, I am usually pleasant and polite Because of that and because I have a sense of humor people generally like me. If I had more tolerance for social situations, I would be better able to capitalize on those personal traits.

    In terms of finding and attracting a mate introversion is not a help. The way to meet women is through social activities. Despite the PUAsphere concentration on bars and clubs many people meet through social networks (dinners, parties and other events). A lot of a man’s attractiveness is based on his projection of confidence that is harder for the reserved or introverted type. This effect is probably more pronounced in the late teens and early twenties where all a man has to offer (and all most girls care about) is his coolness. However, these are formative years and I believe many of the habits and attitudes formed here are carried forward into later life. They certainly were for me (although with diminishing effect over time).
    [As your story shows, introverts can find someone, so introversion should not define you]
    [In terms of dating some of the same problems exist for introverted females who lose out to their more gregarious counterparts – although a good looking introverted female will tend to have more success than a good looking introverted male]

  12. brightstormyday Says:

    @Default:

    Ok, ok, I admit it! I was the one who drew smiley faces on plastic spoons and put them outside your yard.

    Gosh.

  13. Default User Says:

    @brightstormyday

    Ok, ok, I admit it! I was the one who drew smiley faces on plastic spoons and put them outside your yard.

    My neighbor was wondering who would do such a thing to his yard. Now I can tell him (some crazy, mischievous – but quiet – blogger).

  14. brightstormyday Says:

    You know, I was thinking…
    I like how I’ve said “mean” things to you before and you got that I wasn’t serious and I was actually complimenting you in my own way.

    I’ve irritated a few people that way because they don’t get it.

    In short….

    we should be bffs.
    If we aren’t already.

  15. David Says:

    Default User

    Yes, I am an INTJ. Interestingly, I was an INTP until recently. I think becoming a boss has made me more decisive and pushed me over into the INTJ group. I have become much more pragmatic and less of a dreamer. I have also finally realised that I am happier as an applied scientist than as a pure scientist. That only took 40 years!

    I am much better with people than I expected to be as a boss. Despite my high autism quotient, I feel I understand people quite well. I think this has helped me in my career of late. The world is full of smart people. One needs to have something else, and a capacity to manage people and keep them motivated and happy can help a lot.

    The other thing that has been a real help is being able to write and speak fairly well. This again makes a difference. To use my lognormal point (!), one needs to find out what combination of traits one possesses that is really rare and will put one right out on the edge of the lognormal distribution. It can take a very long time to find the ideal job that requires just the combination of traits that you happen to possess. For me, it has been a job that requires some scientific knowledge, data analysis (but not lab work at which I am poor), good written skills, patience, a modicum of people skills, and work I like to give me motivation. (Strangely, being able to touch type has been essential – and I was lucky that for some reason my parents encouraged me to learn this as a fifteen year old boy in about 1970 – I was surrounded by “secretary birds” and was the only male there!)

    As economists say, you have to find your area of “comparative advantage”. This can take a lot of time and false starts and trial and error. But if you have a reasonable education and you live in a society that offers a good range of opportunities, you are more likely to find your metier eventually.

    As I said, all this can take a very long time, and did not really happen for me until I was about 50 (I have had other good patches, but this is the best). Understanding yourself can take a very long time. It took me ages to realise that applied science was “my bag”, not so much pure science. (Other people can give you bad advice about your true strengths). In contrast to pure science, in applied science you get more immediate feedback and satisfaction. In pure science you have to have enormous self-confidence and faith in your ultimate judgements about what is true and important. I am simply not that independent-minded. (I read a book not long ago about eccentric inventors and realised with great clarity that such men have a strength of character that I simply don’t have.) Don’t fall for the modern myth that we should try to be unique. We are all social creatures, to a greater or lesser extent.

    Humility can take you places. Genuine self-knowledge, I mean. As the saying goes, “A man has to know his limitations.”

    Another valuable insight I have slowly come to is that sometimes you have to wait for the right job to be invented. If the technology is not there yet, neither is the job. I have often wondered what all these guys doing programming now would have done fifty years ago, and what they would do in fifty years time, assuming programming is no longer needed.

    There are some standard jobs that seem to be with us always: doctor, lawyer, cook. But most jobs are evanescent. They come and go. A job may exist for a decade and then disappear as an occupation. For example, “quants” in finance.

    I take your point about networking, but I would say that a little goes a long way. I have had some help from knowing people, but I have never accepted the old adage that “it is who you know not what you know”. I detest “kissing ass” as Americans say, and I am happy to say that ultimately my abilities were independently recognised. But it did take a long time, I admit. Also, I don’t mean that you can behave like an ass and still succeed. “House MD” is entertainment, not a role model. Unless you are a super-genius, you are better off trying to fit in and “play nice”. You will always have enemies, but if more than about 1 in 5 people around you dislikes you, you are in trouble.

    That said, while friends and networks are great, they have their costs too. Networks are very high maintenance. The wrong friends can waste your time, drain you of energy, and give you bad advice. I have always remembered the saying (of Montaigne?), that “we find the misfortunes of our friends easy to bear.” Genuinely dispassionate advice is rare.

    I wouldn’t recommend becoming stuck on cynical, but one should at least read and think about what Machiavelli and his epigones have said. You don’t have to play the politics game, but you would be a fool not to be aware that others may be playing it.

    Something else occurs to me. It is the easiest of mistakes to make, to assume that because an Australian like me shares a language and some popular culture with Americans, that he really understands them. Australians don’t place as much value on extraversion as Americans. Quietness is viewed more positively. We don’t seem to do that Jock vs Nerd thing either. I had a group of very smart friends at school, who would now be called “nerds”, but they were also good sportsmen, some of them very good.

    Perhaps it is partly generational too. I am in my 50s and the world was different back when I was a kid.

    In all honesty too, I have always been good-looking, which has helped with women. And some women find quiet blokes interesting.

    Sorry about the jumbled thoughts. Being a kind soul, I genuinely wish you luck. (By the way, when you do succeed, the first thing you will lose will be your sense of humour.)

  16. Default User Says:

    @brightstormyday

    . . .I like how I’ve said “mean” things to you before and you got that I wasn’t serious and I was actually complimenting you in my own way. . .

    You said mean things to me?

    we should be bffs.
    If we aren’t already

    Hmm I am not sure what the correct alpha response is so I will have to pretend I did not read that part. :/

    Please note the change of text color. I felt it more suitable for the original quote.

  17. Default User Says:

    @David

    Lose my sense of humor. Is that a joke? I would hate to lose my sense of humo(u)r, although I can understand how that might work (success leading to a loss of humor).

    Like you, I suspect that I will eventually find my true calling. I am adaptable in that I can do (and have done) well at various things. However I have not found something that I feel “at home” in.
    [I realize that any career will have its ups and downs]

    A good point on extraversion in the US. I think a bit of hustle has always been appreciated, and indeed venerated, in the US. I spent some time in the UK but did not find its more introvert culture more appealing than the US. I have never lived in Australia but often wondered how (the perceived) “bloke” culture would treat a more cerebral type. That said I reckon that the Anglosphere cultures are close enough that the differences are less than perceived. That is you can probably move from one country to the other and fit in (with some adjustments) in either.

    Good looks do not just help with the opposite sex, they are useful in all social situations. I am at least average in looks (I might claim “boyishly handsome” if I wanted to be vain). Being pleasant looking helps in many situations (not causing fear, revulsion, jealousy, etc. responses).

    Your point on the costs (and perils) of social networks is a good one. Funny that you should mention him, but I just finished listening to a reading of The Prince by Machiavelli.

    Thanks for your comments and good wishes.

    PS
    I am INxP (evenly — slightly more T– divided between T and F).

  18. David Says:

    Just a couple more comments.

    I used to be funny, making a lot of jokes. Since I have had more work success, I have largely lost this. I made a joke at work recently and got a huge laugh (like most successful jokes, it was kind of obvious). And I thought, I used to be funny all the time. I even published a humorous piece in the local paper.

    Seinfeld has an episode on this. Jerry gets happier and loses his comic edge.

    I always worry too that my underlings might just be laughing at my jokes because I am the boss. So, I tend to play it straight.

    Australians are stereotypically laconic and understated. One of the truest things I ever read about us Australians is that we “don’t like gush”. That is, we find that American hucksterism deeply unappealing. Sorry.

    Australian men (this is a male culture) talk a lot of bullshit and tell good stories; but Australians detest people who try to dominate too much or give themselves airs of superiority.

    As for good looks, I am more rugged looking now, but I was very handsome as a younger man, and I think I got a bit of a Dumb Blonde effect. People assume that handsome people are not that intelligent. Also, a lot of men are jealous of handsome men, thinking, as you Americans say, that we get a lot of pussy. But nearly all my pussy has been marital pussy … which is fine.

  19. brightstormyday Says:

    @Default User:

    Not MEAN. “Mean.”

    Like my hobbit theories. I didn’t have MEAN intentions, but I see how someone could interpret them as “mean.” But you didn’t, which is good, because they weren’t.

    “Hmm I am not sure what the correct alpha response is so I will have to pretend I did not read that part. :/”
    Oh, trying to pick me up over the internet? ;)

    “I am at least average in looks (I might claim “boyishly handsome” if I wanted to be vain). Being pleasant looking helps in many situations (not causing fear, revulsion, jealousy, etc. responses).”

    You’re cute, Default! :3

    @David:

    “As for good looks, I am more rugged looking now, but I was very handsome as a younger man, and I think I got a bit of a Dumb Blonde effect. People assume that handsome people are not that intelligent.”

    Whenever I think of Australians I think of HUGH JACKMAN HUGH JACKMAN HUGH JACKMAN.

    oh yeahhh.

    And Chopper. Although there’s only so much of him I can watch before I become sick of the word “fuck.”

  20. brightstormyday Says:

    Oh, also, Default.

    In high school my friend and I were friends with this boy a couple years younger than us. He was quiet and very shy. One day he came to school with a body of an Abercrombie model taped underneath his picture in his ID. From then on we began to say things to him like,”You’re so buff!” And we’d call him Big Poppa.

    Most people would think we were mean, but he ate it up. “Oh yeah, I’m working out eight hours a day now. So intense. *flex*”

    He was shy and quiet but was really an awesome kid. And by the end of the year, he actually had toned arms. (though I doubt he was working out eight hours a day)

    Introversion isn’t necessarily a bad thing if you play your cards right. I prefer someone like him over a showy, annoying, extraverted jock, for example. Even though, to be fair, my ex was an ESTP. Complete opposite of me.

  21. Default User Says:

    @brightstormy

    Introversion isn’t necessarily a bad thing if you play your cards right.

    True, but it is hardly a great thing either. Genius, knowledge, humor, and good stories are no use if they are not shared. Extraverts do not need to be showy; they simply enjoy (indeed need) social interactions. Just like the introvert, the extravert might enjoy nature or NASCAR, opera or rock, reading or wrestling.

    As an extravert, the kid you describe might have gained your attraction and not just your friendship. You might have seen him as funny and sexy, and not just sweet. At my age a young chick calling me “sweet” is good enough, at his age it is not. ;/

    You ended up with the extravert because he was able to approach, interact, and demonstrate his character in a way the introvert would not. The extravert does not have to be a showy jock, but he cannot help but look more interesting than the quiet one who sits quietly in the corner. Even as an introvert myself, I will find it easier to notice and interact with someone who puts themselves forward as compared to someone I need to dig out of a corner.

    PS
    His increased muscle tone might be nothing more than puberty. Some physical Summer work and puberty made me quite lean and toned (with no gym work).

    PPS
    I am not saying that introverts are destined for a life of failure and misery, just that it would be better to have to discipline (force) yourself to perform quiet study than discipline (force) yourself to partake in social activity. That said, you have to deal the hand you are dealt (as you said “play your cards right”).

    PPPS
    If I had to assign PUA designators to MB types then ESxP would be the players.
    [Extraverts (E) who are very aware of the sensate world (S) - unlike more theory oriented iNtuitives). Sensing Perceivers tend to be more in the moment and less rule and structure bound than SJ types.]
    [Of course, such analysis is just for fun and entertainment]
    [One day I may write a blog entry on that]

  22. Default User Says:

    @David

    That is, we find that American hucksterism deeply unappealing.

    It is not so much hucksterism as confidence. If you are good, you are expected to say that you are good (not boast, just no false modesty). However, too much of the “I am better than you” will not go down well. It is something like: I am good (at certain skills) but no better (as a person) than you.

    On humor and happiness:
    There is an irony in that I gain happiness but lose my sense of humor making me unhappy.
    [of course if I then become unhappy I might get my sense of humor back making me happy but. . . Maybe I should leave "well enough" alone :)]

  23. Default User Says:

    @brightflirtyday

    Oh, trying to pick me up over the internet?

    The first rule of PUAsphere is that the game is always on.

  24. David Says:

    I suppose the American who always has an angle can be rather entertaining. I think of Kramer from Seinfeld, always with a get rich scheme. Or even Jerry’s father.

    But what always flabbergasts me is that American habit, quite common in women as well as men, of saying something like “I’m a damn good doctor”. That is so alien to me.

  25. brightstormyday Says:

    @Default:

    “Extraverts do not need to be showy; they simply enjoy (indeed need) social interactions.”

    Extraverts can be needy and clingy bitches. Okay, moving on.

    “As an extravert, the kid you describe might have gained your attraction and not just your friendship. You might have seen him as funny and sexy, and not just sweet.”

    The kid I described wasn’t my ESTP exbf/friend (we have the strangest relationship now), he was just a really shy awkward kid who knew how to use it to be funny. He had his own groupies because of it. He’d probably get made fun of by roissy and find a way to take advantage of it to get girls like my friend and I to flock to him.

    “At my age a young chick calling me “sweet” is good enough, at his age it is not. ;/”

    Oh, default, you’re so cute!

    “You ended up with the extravert because he was able to approach, interact, and demonstrate his character in a way the introvert would not. The extravert does not have to be a showy jock, but he cannot help but look more interesting than the quiet one who sits quietly in the corner.”

    The quiet guys who sit in the corner end up getting harassed by weird chicks like Summer.

    …and me. (jk)

    ” Some physical Summer work and puberty made me quite lean and toned (with no gym work).”

    You’ve hit puberty? O.O

    I’m kidding.

    “If I had to assign PUA designators to MB types then ESxP would be the players.
    [Extraverts (E) who are very aware of the sensate world (S) - unlike more theory oriented iNtuitives). Sensing Perceivers tend to be more in the moment and less rule and structure bound than SJ types.]”

    Spot on. I could help you out since I dated one lolol.

    “The first rule of PUAsphere is that the game is always on.”

    Oh, Default, you’re so funny and sexy. ;)

  26. Default User Says:

    @David

    But what always flabbergasts me is that American habit, quite common in women as well as men, of saying something like “I’m a damn good doctor”. That is so alien to me.

    I agree. I am a damn good blogger, I just do not need to boast about it.
    [groan]

  27. Default User Says:

    @brightflirtyday

    Oh, default, you’re so cute!

    “Cute” is good too.

    Oh, Default, you’re so funny and sexy.

    Just don’t harass me the way you did that poor shy kid. :/

    [on ESTPs]Spot on. I could help you out since I dated one lolol.

    Actually, that might make an interesting entry on your own blog. You could write a sort of “caring for the extravert in your life” type of thing.

  28. brightstormyday Says:

    I’m not harassing you I think you’re really cute, but not like in a “oh he’s so cute way,” in a “OH HE’s SO CUTE WAY”

    Like, you’re really smart and what not so I have an ecrush onyou

    oh noooooezzzz

    and yeah that make a good entry but I need ot write it after some coffee and water and good stuff
    maybe sleep

    you know what i mean.

  29. Default User Says:

    Like, you’re really smart and what not so I have an ecrush onyou

    oh noooooezzzz

    :oops: <shy beta whimpering>”oh noooooezzzz” indeed. She has an e-crush. Now what do I do?</shy beta whimpering>

  30. brightstormyday Says:

    This is so embarrassing……

  31. Default User Says:

    :)

    Actually this -> :oops: is so embarrassing.

    [You can show the red faced smiley with colon followed by oops followed by colon. (:OOPS:)]

  32. brightstormyday Says:

    :OOPS:

    Like this?

    I’m staying in tonight. No more “silly” comments for you or Michael. :P

  33. brightstormyday Says:

    Darnit, it didn’t work.

    (:OOPS:)

    Will this work?

    :oops:

    Maybe no caps?

  34. Linkage is Good for You: Unexpectedly Tasteful Edition | In Mala Fide Says:

    [...] Default User – “Is Introversion a Mental Illness?” [...]

  35. gunslingergregi Says:

    That is why you get an extroverted woman who has the massive contact list and keeps up with it and sets up events and things to do. Ideally you get 7 of them and you begin to have a pretty wide reach.

  36. Default User Says:

    You are correct: Lowercase :oops: seems to work, but UPPER case :OOPS: does not.

    The other thing is you may need to leave spaces around the code
    with spaces :oops:
    with no spaces (:oops:)

    So I guess I should be :oops: at my mistake. :)

    Thanks for been so 8) – that is 8) about it.

  37. Default User Says:

    @gunslingergregi
    Seven seems like a good start. However seven extraverted women would be a lot of work for the average introvert. I suppose you have to keep them busy.

    An interesting thing is that I know some married couples where the wife (only one wife) is the more extravert but I know of no dating couples where that is the case.

  38. gunslingergregi Says:

    No they are no work at all. You just have to fuck them and you get plenty of me time because they don’t need you to keep them busy they have a 100 freinds and family for that.

  39. gunslingergregi Says:

    They keep you entertained he he he

  40. Default User Says:

    Wow Gunny, that was a quick reply. About two minutes after my first reply. You extravert types move quickly. :)

  41. gunslingergregi Says:

    Like me I am extroverted when it comes to being in groups of people and definetly can handle a group of woman and just me but I don’t keep up on massive networks of people. Like being with my wife I get access to a massive network of her family and contacts. When I go there I have a lot of people to interact with which I do like but I don’t have to put the work in to constantly develope the network. Don’t get an introvert woman get one who is involved in things or you will be alone. I do plan on creating my own local network by having a large number of children though he he he

  42. gunslingergregi Says:

    ”””Default User Says:

    January 24, 2010 at 11:04 AM
    Wow Gunny, that was a quick reply. About two minutes after my first reply. You extravert types move quickly.
    ””””’

    lol

  43. Default User Says:

    @gunslingergregi
    Most women I have been with were introverted (not always as introverted as me though). I guess I will have to try strong-silent-type game to see if I can grab an extravert woman(en) to manage my social network.

  44. brightstormyday Says:

    You don’t need to be extroverted to know lots of people.

    This whole week everyone was surprised I wasn’t rushing a sorority because, according to them, I know everyone on campus.

    I think college might be making me a bit more extroverted, but I do still need that time to recoup from constant social interactions. ._.;

  45. gunslingergregi Says:

    Yea stormy the diference is the extent of the knowledge. Yea my friend said I was popular in high school because everyone knew me but it is diferent than what these chicks have. I didn’t hang out with them very much my girlfriends came from other schools.

  46. gunslingergregi Says:

    Default really I would suggest you go and pay for pussy to build up your confidense. When you talk about when you were young and the added up hurts from girls dissing you or whatever. Well the new girls you go see will all want to give up the pussy to you.

  47. gunslingergregi Says:

    Try amsterdam hell chic nor could show you the good chicks he he he

  48. Default User Says:

    I really do not believe that paying will make me more confident any more than paying for a meal makes me a great chef. I am not sexually frustrated. Paying for sex would make me feel like a no hope chump.

    What all men seek is power, mastery and control. Every man wants to be king or top dog. Some obtain that by becoming economic kings (wealth), some by becoming academic kings (gurus, thought leaders, top-dog writers), some by becoming king-makers (influence). Some men are happy with mastery over women (Don Juans, pickup artists, players). The reward is as much the mastery itself as any benefits that come with it.

    It is popular to claim that men’s efforts in wealth or career building are sublimated sex drive. It is just as possible that the pickup artist’s drive for notches is sublimated desire for mastery. Such mastery would not be achieved by paying for it any more than winning the lottery would sate a man’s desire for economic mastery (one reason that so many winners do not end up happy).

    In short paying for sex would not make me more confident nor even fulfill my sex drive any more than jacking-off. It is true that getting a prostitute might seem more manly but jacking off is easier and cheaper, and I am a practical man.

    But maybe, as you suggest, chic noir will contribute some thoughts on Amsterdam and good chicks. :)

    Note:
    Getting a prostitute may be a good idea for a young virgin as it removes the stigma and toxic shame that accompanies male virginity.

  49. Default User Says:

    @brightextravertday

    I think college might be making me a bit more extroverted

    Please do not get so extravert that you no longer have time to stop by here. :/

    [Actually, I do hope you enjoy that newfound extraversion. I suspect it is more about building tolerance for social activity. Either way probably a good thing.]

  50. brightstormyday Says:

    @Default:

    It might be. It might also be (in some instances >.>) mild alcohol consumption.

    Either way, I still don’t enjoy crowded parties with 3294083209489304 people, so I’m not that extroverted (and hope I never am).

  51. gunslingergregi Says:

    ”””’In short paying for sex would not make me more confident nor even fulfill my sex drive any more than jacking-off. It is true that getting a prostitute might seem more manly but jacking off is easier and cheaper, and I am a practical man.””””””

    Well I have actually seen it happen though. You may have heard my story on when in bosnia and we got some leave time we were bussed to a whore house in budapest. My girlfriend met me so I didn’t partake but then I was always able to pick up woman pretty much. The change that the other guys went through though was kind of amazing. At least enough that it was pretty noticeable. They went from the ones who never had girlfriends to all having girlfriends. Right now you probably think your hand is as good as the real thing but it is probably not he he he

    Especially when you can get them to cook clean wash your nuts shave cut your hair bring ice for your drink and provide money along with any other mundane task you could do for yourself but why ever get out of bed he he he

  52. gunslingergregi Says:

    And I am talking about the american chick I am with temporarily now lol

    She folding my clothes now and about to empty my ashtry and she just got back from work 3 seconds ago.

    Before taking off her work clothes she cleans up my mess for the day.

    Woman pretty helpfull.

  53. gunslingergregi Says:

    I may actually have to get up for a second while she makes the bed.

    aww she brought a steak from another chicks house where she picked up her sister for my apetizer before she goes and cooks my favorite a nice ham with some cornbread and some homemade potato salad.

    She feeding me steak now lol by hand.

    Plus got some homeade brownies from the chick too.

    Life what ya gonna do.

    Woman can make it easier I have noticed he he he

  54. gunslingergregi Says:

    Yea she was like can I please make the bed

    hahahaha

    This from a black chick that was a walking sterotype of a black woman.

    She used to be loud as shit with the kids or whatever and she has become quite a calm little kitten.

    I don’t recomend it for the less advanced lol

    But yea imagine you could do well with a slightly tamer woman.

  55. gunslingergregi Says:

    Plus her husband used to do the cooking and cleaning lol

    But yea anyway good luck dude.

  56. brightstormyday Says:

    What the hell gunslinger. Stop monopolizing Defaulty’s blog.

  57. Gunslingergregi Says:

    Hey stormy I am not willard allright. Can we have you act like somewhat of an adult. Just trying to toss some alternatives at default maybe help him.

  58. Rebekah Says:

    Interesting.

    Perhaps introversion is a problem when it prevents someone from doing what they want, or being who they want to be. I’m definitely an introvert (and female), but I actually appreciate my introversion. I think in many ways I’m very private and prefer to have a few very close friends than many. I like peace and solitude. Generally, people who are really loud and people-pleasers (trying to be everyone’s friend for popularity) tend to annoy me; however, I try to appreciate their qualities as well, as it takes all kinds to make the world interesting.

    I’m much more attracted to introverted men–very attracted to Morrissey from the Smiths, for example–and generally don’t like extroverted men who “schmooze”; they come across as insecure to me somehow. I read that JFK was actually an introvert and very sensitive, and people seemed to really like him.

    Just my two cents in any case…

  59. brightstormyday Says:

    @Gunslinger:

    Ok, I was partially joking at how you make four posts in a row versus one large post, but I’ve posted a lot so perhaps it’s a bit hypocritical.

    However, the only alternative you actually threw at him was to find a prostitute, and then you talked about your woman for a few posts. Which is nice and all, but…

  60. Default User Says:

    @brightalcoholclouded day

    It might be. It might also be (in some instances >.>) mild alcohol consumption.

    I think it is a good idea for introverts to consider alcohol *with care* to help relax them. For various reasons I drink less now but I found that a little alcohol helped loosen me up so that my humor, mischievousness, and sense of fun was not swamped by my introversion.

    The problem is it is difficult to get the quantities correct. It takes a while for the alcohol to hit your bloodstream; you may have had a few drinks before you feel the effects of the first one. If you continue to drink at your initial pace (hey I feel fine) you could easily end up with too much. A drunk introvert is hardly more fun than a drunk extravert. An introvert hangover is probably no quieter than an extravert one.

    Also, keep in mind that alcohol affects your judgment. The lowered inhibitions that help you be more social can also help you make poor choices. Men should keep in mind Shakespeare’s admonition regarding alchohol: “provokes the desire . . .but it takes away the performance.”

  61. Default User Says:

    @gunslingergregi

    The change that the other guys went through though was kind of amazing. At least enough that it was pretty noticeable.

    Are you saying that these were guys who were unable to get girlfriends, despite their best effort (no game), developed a player’s swagger after their visit? Or were they guys who were not really trying, but who started trying after realizing that sex was worth the effort (got their mojo back)?

  62. Default User Says:

    @gunslingergregi

    But yea anyway good luck dude.

    Thanks and to you.

  63. Default User Says:

    What the hell gunslinger. Stop monopolizing Defaulty’s blog.

    I love it when brightstormy becomes darkstormy – the bringer of fire and justice. :)

  64. Default User Says:

    @gunslingergregi

    And I am talking about the american chick I am with temporarily now.

    I am afraid I have not kept up with your adventures. I thought you were married to an Indonesian women and living there. Is this another woman (bit on the side)?

  65. Default User Says:

    @Rebekah
    I think that quite a few politicians are/were introverts I suspect that despite a certain on screen charisma Obama is more the quiet type. The first George Bush was most likely an introvert while his son was probably extravert (showing that extraversion does not guarantee charisma).

    Comparing JFK to Clinton may show the advantage of extraversion. Both had charm and charisma, neither lacked confidence. However, the advantage will go to the one that loves the act of socializing. If JFK were introvert than all those meetings and social events would have left him tired while Clinton would be bounding with energy.

    I agree that introvert men can find women that appreciate them. It is just harder for them to get together because they are less likely to meet (both at home reading books or whatever)

    I think my problem is that I am introvert and average. Introverts can do well when they have a lot of talent that shines above their lack of putting themselves forward. If you are average (and that would be most of us) it is your ability to present yourself that counts. Even with talent, introversion can be a block; a brilliant mind is of no use if its thoughts remain locked away.

    For some reason I have never fully accepted that I am a quiet type. Perhaps it is a male thing (our hierarchical place is important for men) but I have always admired and wanted to be the aggressive, confident, mover of mountains type. If I were a performer, I would prefer be more like the frantic Freddie Mercury or Mick Jagger than the more soulful Morrisy. In dating I don’t want to slowly win her with my gentle charm, I want to rock her world. In my profession I don’t want to be someone whose skills and advice are sometimes appreciated, I want to be the guy that dominates the meeting. I want to be wild but was born mild. Maybe it is that gap between what is and what I want that is the real problem and not introversion per se. I do not have the energy to change nor the willingness to settle. While I am not desperately unhappy, I am not completely content either. Maybe that restlessness is my source of energy and without it I would just slip away.

    PS
    When I talked of a cure for introversion I meant actually changing my preference not merely using discipline to act extraverted to get what I want. Like most introverts I spend a fare bit of time acting extraverted (meetings, social events, etc.)

  66. brightstormyday Says:

    @Default User:

    “The problem is it is difficult to get the quantities correct. It takes a while for the alcohol to hit your bloodstream; you may have had a few drinks before you feel the effects of the first one. If you continue to drink at your initial pace (hey I feel fine) you could easily end up with too much. A drunk introvert is hardly more fun than a drunk extravert. An introvert hangover is probably no quieter than an extravert one.”

    This is what confuses me. At my worst (not the other night) I had a BAC of approximately 0.26 (estimate). I’m NOT doing that again. I did not have a headache the next day, nor did I vomit, feel nauseous, or blackout. In fact, I remembered everything from the night before.

    While I did act silly, and I do distinctly remember my vision blurring on the sides, nothing worse happened. Although the next day I still did feel like my motor coordination was somewhat affected.

    My friends and I are puzzled at how I can drink as much as them and not blackout like they do. I have a friend who can have three beers and blackout, and I distinctly recall grimacing at a few things she said, even though I had more to drink than her. (I definitely have my share of stupid things to say). Alcohol hits everyone differently, and while I’m not taking this as a green light to chug vodka, I do find it amusing that it hasn’t been that bad. At the same time, I’m not going to take any chances. I don’t want to die. ;-;

    @Default User:

    “I love it when brightstormy becomes darkstormy – the bringer of fire and justice.”

    I’m Sailor Jupiter!

  67. Rebekah Says:

    “Comparing JFK to Clinton may show the advantage of extraversion. Both had charm and charisma, neither lacked confidence. However, the advantage will go to the one that loves the act of socializing. If JFK were introvert than all those meetings and social events would have left him tired while Clinton would be bounding with energy.”

    I see what you mean. But the extrovert seems to need to leech off other people’s energy, and does not seem to know how to be comfortable and secure in his/her own space — but that’s just me…

    “I want to rock her world. In my profession I don’t want to be someone whose skills and advice are sometimes appreciated, I want to be the guy that dominates the meeting. I want to be wild but was born mild. Maybe it is that gap between what is and what I want that is the real problem and not introversion per se. I do not have the energy to change nor the willingness to settle. While I am not desperately unhappy, I am not completely content either. Maybe that restlessness is my source of energy and without it I would just slip away.”

    I acknowledge your need to “rock her world” and be dominating and wild… I just feel there is more than one way to rock someone’s world and dominate/lead in situations, and I don’t think it’s exclusive to extroverts; I think it also depends on what kind of woman you desire. Perhaps you prefer the type of woman who wants the wild guy. There seems to be more going on here than the desire to meet more people.

    “Maybe that restlessness is my source of energy and without it I would just slip away.”

    I don’t know which is worse, the complete boredom of societal convention, or the constant battle some of us wage with ourselves; there must be a happy medium.

    I was reading your alcohol advice above… I perpetually have the quantity issue, which causes me not to drink socially. I almost never drink anyway, but not knowing one’s limit is an added frustration. I never “feel it coming on.” So I sip and I sip, and then it seems to hit out of know where, and then I’m a mess. So embarrassing. I’ve never thrown up or anything, but on one occasion there were definitely parts of the night I couldn’t remember. Maybe it’s an introvert thing? No one else I know seems to have this problem.

  68. Rebekah Says:

    …that should read nowhere, not know where.

    And that’s completely sober. :)

  69. brightstormyday Says:

    @Rebekah:

    You should talk to binge drinking college students then! I kid. But a number of people I know are lightweights and this happens to them. As in, when it hits them, it BLACKOUT hits them. And it doesn’t just affect introverts, so don’t worry, although shyness could cause someone new to alcohol to use alcohol as a crutch more often. (not saying you do, though)

    @DefaultUser:

    “Maybe it is that gap between what is and what I want that is the real problem and not introversion per se.”

    I remember talking with you a few months ago and you said that you were fine with your introversion. mmhmm. i see through you. I know you’re lying.

  70. Default User Says:

    @brightstormydrinker

    At my worst (not the other night) I had a BAC of approximately 0.26 (estimate). I’m NOT doing that again. I did not have a headache the next day, nor did I vomit, feel nauseous, or blackout. In fact, I remembered everything from the night before.

    Wow! 0.26. remind me never to go drinking with you.

    You know you should meet up with Paul Jenka. It would be fun to see what happens when he plies you with drink and you remain sober.

    I’m Sailor Jupiter!

    I had to look that up.
    . . .serves as the “muscles” of the group.[3] In addition to being physically tough, she is able to manipulate electricity and uses some plant-based powers. . .
    [link]

    Maybe that explains the alcohol thing. “Plant based powers,” does that mean you can take a ton of weed with no effect.

    One thing about alcohol consumption is that it can age you.

  71. Default User Says:

    @Rebekah

    I don’t know which is worse, the complete boredom of societal convention, or the constant battle some of us wage with ourselves; there must be a happy medium.

    Indeed! :)

    Perhaps you prefer the type of woman who wants the wild guy. There seems to be more going on here than the desire to meet more people.

    It think it is the reverse of what some people go through. Many more active and less cerebral types start to learn the joys of contemplation in late life. It is easy to put that down to getting old. I think some of it is about investigating previously unexamined parts of themselves, of needing to experience life differently. Maybe it is a mid-life crisis. However, I do not think the “mid-life crisis” is bad thing; it is a healthy part of our life development.

    If the problem with extraverts is too much doing and not enough understanding then the problem for introverts is too much understanding and not enough experiencing.

    Anyway, my discontent is not about meeting more people and certainly not about meeting more women. It is about figuring out what exactly I need to do next.

    On alcohol: It effects everyone differently. It would guess it is more to do with body chemistry than personality (e.g., bigger persons tend to have higher tolerance, Asians less – due to a missing enzyme).

  72. Default User Says:

    @Rebekah

    And that’s completely sober

    I often make those sounds-like spelling errors (where I know the correct spelling). It is to do with sounding out the words in my head as work out what I am going to write. Maybe that is an introvert thing (although I suspect not).

  73. Default User Says:

    @brightstormyaccuser

    I remember talking with you a few months ago and you said that you were fine with your introversion. mmhmm. i see through you. I know you’re lying.

    I am not sure what I said, but to some degree I am happy with it. After all it is who I am. I am not unhappy being me but I can still wish for, or at least consider, something different.

    So which is my lie? Was I lying then or am I lying now? Or am I just confused and mixed up. I may have written some god-awful prose but I don’t consider I ever lied.

  74. brightstormyday Says:

    @Default:
    “Wow! 0.26. remind me never to go drinking with you.:
    Yeah, I’d fill a red cup with vodka and scream,”CHUG IT!”

    Kidding, I have a friend who does that though. She almost killed one of our friends and I had to babysit him. I had more to drink than anyone that night, yet I was the only one in any condition to take care of him. Everyone else was taking turns sitting on him. Not cool. Not cool.

    You know you should meet up with Paul Jenka. It would be fun to see what happens when he plies you with drink and you remain sober.”

    No, you can tell that I’m drunk. I get very loud, giggly, and chatty. I just plateau. While most drinkers get hit with the biphasic effect, I feel like I hit some sort of plateau of drunkenness.

    Even though my close friends say that what I say when I’m drunk isn’t too far off what I say when I’m sober. (“OMG 5 am already! Let’s stay here and watch the sunset, guys!”) And the loud chattiness can also happen when I’m sober and excited, it’s just more common when I’m drunk.

    I also lose my motor coordination, but I still managed to not miss the target when playing darts for the first time last weekend.

    “Maybe that explains the alcohol thing. “Plant based powers,” does that mean you can take a ton of weed with no effect.”

    I don’t smoke weed and I don’t ever plan on trying it. Ever.

    “One thing about alcohol consumption is that it can age you.”

    Yeah, I can see that happening. I notice a lot of the 21/22/23 year old frat guys and sorority sisters tend to have some wrinkles around their eyes. It worries me.

    I usually try to take care of myself. The only times I’ve ever really drank in excess were my birthday, Halloween (0.26 alcohol blood count, BAD), and the weekend before Thanksgiving. Last weekend might be included in that group.

    There are some weekends I don’t go out at all, and there are others I do go out but remain sober the entire time, or, if it’s a formal event, I might try a glass of wine.

    That’s it, though.

    I also notice that the next day it’s incredibly frustrating because my body isn’t fully flushed of the alcohol. So even if I’m not getting a hangover, I feel like my mental processes are a bit slower, and it takes me well into the afternoon for them to get back to normal to be able to do really well on homeworks. I did calculus homework while drunk once (night of my birthday) and I only got a 17/25. So frustrating. Can’t sacrifice grades like that.

  75. chic noir Says:

    default, the flirting between you and Mandyxd is too much for me. Maybe it’s time our e-relationship ended. I’ve had other offers and it looks like you’ve moved on to a newer woman.

    So long my love

    *chic noir weeps but walks out with her head held high*

  76. Rebekah Says:

    @brightstormyday:
    “And it doesn’t just affect introverts, so don’t worry, although shyness could cause someone new to alcohol to use alcohol as a crutch more often. (not saying you do, though)”

    Good to know! I definitely think that b/c I talk less in general, I tend sip whatever is in my hand. Couple that with hosts who constantly refill your glass, and ergo my problem. So, 9 times out of 10 I just steer clear of booze. :( And I’m with you, I also don’t like how it makes me feel the next day.

    @Default:
    “If the problem with extraverts is too much doing and not enough understanding then the problem for introverts is too much understanding and not enough experiencing.”

    How true! I’ve thought about things way more than I’ve experienced them; however, I’m not quite sure that’s totally due to being an introvert in my case.

    “It is about figuring out what exactly I need to do next.”

    I truly hope you find your answers and your path. Just make sure to do something about and not just think about it. :)

  77. gunslingergregi Says:

    Default User Says:

    January 25, 2010 at 10:48 AM
    ”””””””@gunslingergregi

    The change that the other guys went through though was kind of amazing. At least enough that it was pretty noticeable.

    Are you saying that these were guys who were unable to get girlfriends, despite their best effort (no game), developed a player’s swagger after their visit? Or were they guys who were not really trying, but who started trying after realizing that sex was worth the effort (got their mojo back)?
    ””””””””’

    Probably both.

  78. gunslingergregi Says:

    ””””’Default User Says:

    January 25, 2010 at 10:59 AM
    @gunslingergregi

    And I am talking about the american chick I am with temporarily now.

    I am afraid I have not kept up with your adventures. I thought you were married to an Indonesian women and living there. Is this another woman (bit on the side)?
    ””””””’
    Yea I left iraq in september so had some fun and got a temp chick to take care of some of my needs till I got paperwork done. Gonna be going home to indo in a few days and retire for a while work on making babies.

  79. Default User Says:

    @chic noir

    *chic noir weeps but walks out with her head held high*

    A cool “alpha” chick move. But tell me who is the other suitor?

    Is it Roissy (all that e-fighting turned to e-flirting)? Willard Libby? Whiskey (I know you always had a soft spot for him)? That cool dandy Obsidean? Doug1 Draper? I do hope you have not turned coat (no doubt an elegant ans styllish one) and taken up with FeminstX

    Anyway, can’t we just be friends? :/

  80. Default User Says:

    @brightstormydrinker
    Maybe you process alcohol slower. It never reaches a high peak but has a longer gentler curve (thus leaving you under the effects next day but less drunk the night before).

    Only 17/25 (68 percent) on a calculus test, I probably would do no better sober!

  81. Default User Says:

    @Rebekah
    A good point about drinking more because you are talking less. I have had that happen; I sip more out of a need to do something and because I am not occupied talking. I am much better at stretching my drink (and even taking more) than I was but did fall into that trap when younger.

    How true! I’ve thought about things way more than I’ve experienced them; however, I’m not quite sure that’s totally due to being an introvert in my case.

    Actually, that is a good point. I think it is the mixture of a cerebral nature and introversion. I also suspect that it is something to do with iNtuitives versus Sensors. Introverted Sensing types are probably more likely to engage in activity (albeit it solitary) than iNtuitives. An introverted Sensor might work with machinery while an introverted iNtuitive will work with ideas and theories.

    I truly hope you find your answers and your path. Just make sure to do something about and not just think about it.

    :) Thanks

  82. Default User Says:

    @Gunslingergregi
    When I was a lot younger I considered using a prostitute for those reasons (get my swagger and mojo back). I have not considered it recently, but maybe a visit to Nevada is just the adventure that I need. If nothing else, the bad-boy, mischievous nature of it might be fun. In fact I believe the main benefit would be the thumbing my nose at societal convention than shooting my load into a woman that pretend to be sexually interested in me.

    Are you going to live in the USA or Indonesia? Good luck with the babies. I am not sure how the world will handle lots of little gunslingers though. :)

  83. gunslingergregi Says:

    ””””’thumbing my nose at societal convention than shooting my load into a woman that pretend to be sexually interested in me.””””

    Or maybe she won’t be faking at some point I mean I did it and got the best woman I have haver had out of the equation. Gonna live in indo. I had a gallstone in iraq which fucked me up so they sent me on medical leave after I sent an email to the ceo when they wouldn’t send me on medical because of the massive pain.

  84. brightstormyday Says:

    @Default:

    Stop calling me brightstormydrinker, it makes me feel like an alcoholic. :(

    I think it could be slower alcohol processing. Either that, or the feelings the next day are from a lack of sleep. I notice that while you can fall asleep faster after consuming alcohol, you can’t really stay asleep. Or at least I can’t. I end up waking up early and getting four or, if I’m lucky, five hours of sleep.

    “Only 17/25 (68 percent) on a calculus test, I probably would do no better sober!”

    No, it was a problem set I did last minute after I got back from my (well it technically wasn’t my party, but ok) birthday party. That’s even worse. :x

    “Anyway, can’t we just be friends? :/”

    For the first time in history, a guy gives a girl the LJBF. :O

  85. Default User Says:

    @gunslinger
    I hope you enjoy your time back in the US. Good luck back in Indo, when you get there.

  86. Default User Says:

    @brightsoberday

    Stop calling me brightstormydrinker, it makes me feel like an alcoholic.

    OK, I was only joking with you. I know you are not an alcoholic. . .
    . . . you have told me you can handle your drink (.26 and still standing!) ha ha!
    Alcohol does disrupt sleep the way you said. You get to sleep quicker but it seems to be a less refreshing (and shorter/broken) sleep. As alcohol is a depressant, I am guessing it is a rebound effect as the alcohol wears off.

  87. chic noir Says:

    @default- none of the above. My two suiters are of the nice beta variety, just how I like my men :)

    Yes we can be friends.

  88. Default User Says:

    @chic noir

    My two suiters are of the nice beta variety, just how I like my men

    Two! They may be beta but you are obviously alpha :)

    Will you share the names of the two lucky men?

  89. brightstormyday Says:

    @Defaulty:

    Oh, I see.

    You know a lot about alcohol. ;)

  90. Default User Says:

    @brighty

    You know a lot about alcohol.

    I provide the theory but you provide the experience. :)

    Actually, I did drink heavily when I was younger. It was not a happy period of my life. It came close to becoming a problem.

    What I learnt was that:
    A chump with too much drink is just a drunk chump.
    Swagger is not stagger.
    Slurred words are not a cool drawl.
    A sly crooked smile may be appealing, but not if it is because you are slumped against a wall.

    While alcohol gave me an apparent lift in mood while drinking, it is a depressant and I found it lowered my mood for up to several days after drinking. Of course, for a time, there were rarely a few days between drinking. I could see the loop I was getting into (hangover got me down, hey have another drink to cheer up). It never was a problem but I sensed the danger.

    I still enjoy an occasional drink and wine with a meal, but I am much more careful now. If I am going to be boring, I might as well be sober. :/

  91. chic noir Says:

    Will you share the names of the two lucky men?
    ha, so you can go all alpha cave man on them huh.

  92. Default User Says:

    @chic noir

    so you can go all alpha cave man on them huh.

    Now really, can you see me go all alpha or all caveman on anyone? Nice-as-pie, mild-as-milk me?

    PS
    Is one Keith?

  93. brightstormyday Says:

    “What I learnt was that:
    A chump with too much drink is just a drunk chump.
    Swagger is not stagger.
    Slurred words are not a cool drawl.
    A sly crooked smile may be appealing, but not if it is because you are slumped against a wall.”

    I like the way you write and manipulate words.

    And I’m sorry you went through that, but I’m glad you learned. I’ve seen the effects of liver failure as a result of alcholism and it’s scary. Alcoholism is scary in general.

  94. brightstormyday Says:

    “Now really, can you see me go all alpha or all caveman on anyone? Nice-as-pie, mild-as-milk me?”

    I’m imagining it right now and I kinda like it.

  95. Default User Says:

    @brightstormy

    I like the way you write and manipulate words.

    Thanks. I must have been sober when I wrote them.

  96. Default User Says:

    brightstormyday said:

    I’m imagining it right now and I kinda like it.

    Hmm!

    Default goes clubbing.

  97. brightstormyday Says:

    On second thought, maybe not….

  98. Default User Says:

    BSD said:

    On second thought, maybe not….

    Because my initial response did not meet with your approval, I will offer a multiple-choice response to your disappointment.

    Beta: Oh I am sorry. What can I do to make it better? I just want you to like me.
    Alpha: Phhffft!
    Try-too-hard Alpha Fuck you bitch!

    Simply choose the response that you prefer.

    PS
    My actual response would be: Well I thought it was amusing.

  99. brightstormyday Says:

    They all suck.

    The alpha answer is probably closest, if it’s not done too seriously or bitchy.

    You could probably just laugh and poke fun at me,”Don’t you like his manly hairy chest?”

    idk.

  100. Default User Says:

    @ brightstormycritic

    They all suck.

    Hmmph! You just can’t please some people.

  101. brightstormyday Says:

    Your answer wasn’t bad either, now that I imagine it being said. Better than the beta and try-too-hard alpha, certainly.

    And I :P at you.

  102. Default User Says:

    @brightsmileyday

    And I :P at you.

    I hope that means you are smiling at me and not laughing at me. The first would make me 8) , the second would make me :oops: (maybe even :sad: ).

    Of course if I were truely an alpha the second would make me :roll:, while the first would only generate a :neutral:.

    Of course all of the above is just for :lol:.

  103. Pedant Says:

    For fuck’s sake it is spelled extrOvert, NOT extrAvert. *head explodes*

  104. Default User Says:

    @Pedant

    For fuck’s sake it is spelled extrOvert, NOT extrAvert. *head explodes*

    I believe both are acceptable. *head stays completely intact*

  105. Anonymous Says:

    THIS IS THE MOST OFFENSIVE AND RACIST PIECE OF LITERATURE I’VE EVER SEEN.

    Introversion is not as same as asperger or autism, also introversion are quite comfortable in a group except for small superficial talks.

    I am proud to be an introvert, because it gives me an unique perspective and appreciation in which extrovert could not easily comprehend. I can understand that introversion people are easily misunderstood because they don’t speak as much, but when it comes to the important things the introvert tend to handle the situation well and might even have a lot to say.

    I also found that some extrovert use talking as a self convincing mechanism for own confidence (talk as you go along) and for me I found it especially rude when an extrovert making assumption and taking advantage of the introversion communication skills and “voice over” their opinion toward an introvert without being listening to.

    In my book it a crime against humanity, because there are as many extrovert as introvert, so live with the fact that there are as many IQ as well as people with high EQ.

    http://www.squidoo.com/best-jobs-for-introverts

  106. gavin Says:

    …What? That’s ridiculous. Half of the US population is introverted, so how could it be a mental illness. If you look at philosophy, this is a really odd statement. Thinking (what introverts prefer) is what creates progress and ultimately gets things done and if it’s bad than progress is bad, being a lawyer is bad (…) and just everything that requires critical thinking.

    In the US everyone is expected to be so social and outgoing, so it really doesn’t surprise me that someone would say that.

    So basically, everyone should worry about being accepted and not being different or risk being considered… AN INTROVERT!

  107. Karlabubbles Says:

    This is the sort of attitude that sent me through the mental health system for years on end for no good reason. The attitude that ended up with me taking medication that seriously put my life at risk. I have a 100% preference towards introversion yet I have learned to hide that because if I don’t I become a target for those who think there is something wrong with being an introvert.

    Thankfully I found a private counsellor who encouraged me to accept who I am and am now free to be the introvert that I am, my life is not restricted by this, its a preference, nothing else, I can still work, I can still hang out with friends and chat until the small hours of the morning, just not every night, I am not a party animal, I am not the life and soul of the party.

    The problem isn’t the introvert, the problem is society’s attitude towards the introvert, especially the female introvert.

  108. user Says:

    To the author, you are misinformed and ignorant to the ninth degree. You have absolutely no idea what you are writing about and should refrain from writing anymore of your asinine and utterly uninformed theories. Introversion is a temperament and has to do with the way a person is wired. Introverts process information and react to stimuli differently that extroverts because information from their senses travels through their brain differently. Introverts possess many advantages, such as good listening and the ability to see the bigger picture when undertaking and planning a project. Introversion is not by any means a mental illness. Look up notable introverts on the Internet and tell me whether you think any of them is mentally ill. There are well known news anchors that are introverts; would you call them mentally ill?

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