Extraverts are loners, introverts have partners.
Introverts need to process the world internally. They need to have an internal dialog to sort out the information the world sends. Before they say something they run it by their internal editor. The editor may suggest amendments or may just let is pass as is, but the editor is always consulted.
Extravert will process information as he is conversing. He has no internal editor to consult, he edits on the fly. This is why extraverts talk more: they are not just imparting information they are also processing (editing) it.
Extravert Example:
You: Which plan should we go with?
His head: Hmmm!
Him to you: I like plan “A,” it keeps with our strategy and division goals. But plan “B” is cheaper. And they are really tightening budgets. Anyway cost cutting was our prime goal.
Him to you: Let’s go with “B.”
Talking to an Extravert
Introvert Example:
You: Which plan should we go with?
Him to you: Hmmm!
His head: I like plan “A,” it keeps with our strategy and division goals. But plan “B” is cheaper. And they are really tightening budgets. Anyway cost cutting was our prime goal.
Him to you: Let’s go with “B.”
Talking to an Introvert
Introverts are noisy, Extraverts are quiet
This may seem the opposite to what you would expect. However I am talking about the “inner chatter” of our brains. Introverts have much more internal chatter, while extraverts have less.
Your brain on Extraversion and Introversion.
We all need a certain level of total stimulation to be comfortable, too much and we are stressed but too little will leave us bored and restless. Because introverts have more internal dialog the base level of “noise” in their brain is higher. It takes less external stimulation to bring the total level of stimulation to a comfortable level. It is for this reason that extraverts need more external stimulation (their brains are relatively quiet).
Because the base level of internal noise is higher for introverts a given level of external stimulation will raise their total higher than it would for the extravert (who starts at a lower level).
September 17, 2009 at 5:42 PM
So what about people who talk out loud to themselves??
Ahem, anyway, I’m finding this really helpful. Helps me put a frame to some things I’m figuring out around communication (not all people communicate like you and understanding this better helps you not misinterpret) and personalities. Particularly one complex extrovert I’m interested in.
I take time when replying to something. But forced myself to take less time. So internal chatter is revealed.
IT’S ALL ARTICULATED, DEFAULT!
I love your graphs.
September 17, 2009 at 5:43 PM
Reminds me of something my brother says to me: ‘I can see your brain working. It looks like a nuclear power plant.’
September 17, 2009 at 6:09 PM
@Bhetti
I used to get pissed off in meetings when people nattered on-and-on repeating what others had already said. Once I realized that they were just thinking aloud, that is doing what I was doing quietly I was able to relax. I also add my own verbiage even when it seemed redundant so people know that I am thinking (not just sitting there “sullenly”).
September 17, 2009 at 6:11 PM
@Bhetti
Warn him not mess with you or you will meltdown/blow up/really go nuclear.
September 17, 2009 at 6:24 PM
Warn him not mess with you or you will meltdown/blow up/really go nuclear.
Now warning him of that would be preaching to the converted. *rationalisation* I think he enjoys having objects thrown at him sometimes, though. */rationalisation*
September 17, 2009 at 6:43 PM
My boy does that internal noise thing. I can SEE him thinking, but he won’t volunteer what he’s thinking. So sometimes I go, “What are you thinking about?” And he goes “Uhhh.” Lately it’s been mostly math and school, when I ask.
Sometimes I’m guilty of thinking aloud. I scored 100% on introversion whereas he only scored something like 60%. Half and half, almost extroverted? He likes more external stimulation than I do, wants to go “do stuff” more often, but he is so mysterious with the stuff in his head.
September 17, 2009 at 6:48 PM
he is so mysterious with the stuff in his head.
Is that a male thing? I think it’s a male thing. It is dangerous in that a girl can wonder if the guy is thinking, heh! Ahem.
September 17, 2009 at 6:54 PM
@Hope
Well if he is thinking about math, just leave him be. Do you really want to know the math stuff he is thinking about? Do you really need equations in your head as well?
I wonder if he is less iNtuitive than you. A more Sensing person would need more sensate activities (i.e., “stuff”).
September 17, 2009 at 7:02 PM
We’re both INFJ.
Me:
100 I, 25 N, 50 F, 67 J
Him:
33 I, 75 N, 25 F, 22 J
So he is actually much more intuitive. It makes sense because he is also much more mystical/spiritually inclined.
The activities thing I believe comes more from the I/E difference. He has actually been clubbing, whereas I’ve never set foot in one!
September 17, 2009 at 7:20 PM
@Hope
He scores 33 on the introvert scale. Phhfft. Faker. Poser. A stealth extravert.
You socre lower on iNtuitition than I would have expected. Perhaps your writing brings out that side of you. I am also surprised that he is “much more mystical/spiritually inclined” than you. Again your writing seems to express a lot of that side in you.
PS:
Like you I split 50/50 on T/F.
September 17, 2009 at 8:05 PM
I think the scoring is actually on a 100 point scale both directions. So it looks like:
100 E – 50 E – 0 – 50 I – 100 I
So 33 on I is closer to the middle. I’m obviously a huuuge introvert at 100. I’m not exactly 50/50 on T/F, though, rather midway towards F.
My low N can be explained by my total “pragmatism.” Down to earth, earthy, realistic, etc.
“Individuals who prefer sensing are more likely to trust information that is in the present, tangible and concrete: that is, information that can be understood by the five senses.”
And yeah. I’ve definitely changed a bit. My writings (check out this one on libertarianism hah) and interests were very much non-spiritual before I met him.
October 4, 2009 at 11:31 PM
Interesting stuff. I’ll load it into my “brain noise”, to listen to while I am going about my daily business. . .
October 5, 2009 at 10:06 AM
Thanks.
Just remember to keep the volume on your brain noise at safe levels.